Today's Dose of Perspective.

If I can read that upside down, it makes me like super Wile E. Coyote super genius smart, right? Sweet.

Working in the mental health field, I see a lot of different situations. Different backgrounds. Different cultures. Different diagnoses. Never a dull moment in my office, that's for sure. I just realized that if I didn't point out in what area I worked, you might have thought I was talking about WalMart. I just kind of blew my own mind right there.

One thing that is somewhat of a common denominator, though, is expectations. And I've come to realize that they just piss me off.

*gasp!* A therapist and mother doesn't approve of having expectations? No wonder she's got problems.

Hold on just a minute, external-that-was-supposed-to-be-internal monologue! I definitely approve of expectations. Just realistic ones.

I present the following exhibits to the Court:

*These are in no way examples of any of my clients. This is plain ol' comedy and common sense, folks. 

And seriously, like you don't know people like this? Read on.*

1. If you are the parent of a teenager, and you are expecting their hygiene to improve, you might want to consider taking a shower more than once every few days yourself.

2. If you want your kid to have a clean tidy room that is free of hazmat, you may consider making sure your own bedroom is up to par with what you expect theirs to be.

3. You parking it on your butt in the recliner with coffee watching a marathon of Hoarders while your free help kids do more chores than you do is probably not going to enhance your relationship with them.

4. Yelling at a child to not yell... I don't think I even need to finish this one.

5. After going through Acme Drive Through, you say "Make sure to finish your apples!" while you're slamming 4-5 french fries in your maw.

6. If you want to drop a few pounds to increase the ol' self-esteem, acting like every day is National Pancake Day might not help you achieve said fitness goal.

7. Expecting your children to have manners when you chew with your mouth open, talk with your mouth full, pick your nose without a tissue covering your finger, and adjust yourself in public makes you a moron.

I love pancakes.

I mean, like I said, none of these are about anyone I know. Promise.

Even with all of Shorty's limitations, that doesn't give me carte blanche to act a straight fool in front of him. It's not a "YOUR KID IS NON-VERBAL. DROP THE F-BOMB ALL DAY EVERY DAY" get-out-of-jail free card.

*Although it's tempting, isn't it?!*

Kids are not free-range. It would save a lot of time in the kitchen, both cooking and cleaning, so maybe I should look into that, come to think of it. But even when that kid of mine is busy doing God-knows-what, I'm teaching. He's absorbing and learning. Which explains quite a bit, actually... except him wanting to pick MY nose. That, I just don't understand. But I probably need all the help I can get, so I'll let that slide. Thanks, dude.